I Have Had It With Myself

There's someone here who's not pulling his weight. That's right, I'm just going to come out and say it: I have a real problem with myself. Someone around here moans and groans about how wonderful it is to write, and how he never has time to do it, but then doesn't make time. Wah, wah, wah.

Well, I'm not taking any more of this lazy attitude from myself. I have to realize that if I don't get down to business and start writing, I'll never get anywhere. Honestly: how is a book supposed to get done if I don't write it?

So I think I'm going to have to have a long talk with myself. And explain to myself that this simply won't do. I'm not going to tolerate this sort of misbehavior from myself any longer. That's right, I'm talking to me! There, sitting in the chair, typing. I should listen up.

WRITE.

What is "A Squirrel in the Chimney," Alex?

Midget assassins
Midget ninjas. Minjas?
Hawks
Bobcats
Firearms instructor friend
Traps
Ladder
Crowbar
Vacuum cleaner
Mittens
Cardboard boxes
A slingshot
Trained spider army

One problem, many solutions.

What makes us strong

Some of you may have noticed that we are in the middle of a presidential campaign. No, really, we are. I know it's been quiet and respectful and most people don't have an opinion, but trust me.

I've been watching Laini Taylor's blog and how the issues of the election, and of the country in general, are being vigorously debated there and elsewhere. It can be frustrating, and I mean bang-your-head-into-the-wall frustrating to hear the other side argued as vigorously as our own. How could they possibly think that? Etc.

I think argument is good. Disagreement is good. Democracy doesn't just protect our right to disagree, it needs it. Think of all the bad-guy totalitarian regimes through history: do you think they had anywhere near the level of rhetoric we have today?

Yes, it's embarrassing. Yes, it's childish. Yes, in some cases, it's rude and even wrong to shout racial epithets or to get caught up in confusing patriotism with racism because you're in a stadium of people shouting USA! USA! USA!

But still: muscular disagreement makes for muscular democracy. Conflict is good. Contrasts are interesting. Disagreement drives good countries.

Democracy, Churchill said, is the worst form of government. Except for all the others. But the fact that it's not perfect shouldn't make us abandon it, and it shouldn't prevent us from arguing about it. It needs that debate, we all do.

Disagreement also drives good stories. Contrasts are interesting; difficulty makes for good reading. Friction makes heat, and nobody wants a cold story where the hero strides through bad guys without any effort whatsoever.

No, we want muscular writing. Muscular stories. And I have to believe the same thing goes for our country.

Get the lead in

I mentioned earlier (below) the centerboard for the sailboat I'm building. This has the same effect as the vertical tail of an airplane: it helps keep the boat stable. Since I'm building the centerboard from wood, it will actually float if I don't add weight to it somehow. Plus adding weight will help it ballast the boat.

How to add weight to a centerboard? Easy, just carve out a big hole and pour in molten lead.

I have neither a desire nor suitable pots for melting lead. How about steel? Not heavy enough. Concrete? Too messy. Stone? Come on, I'm not making a stone boat. Okay, then, back to lead.

And then I hit on the answer: lead bullets! Off to the gun shop! (Of course we have gun shops in town. This is Virginia.)

GUN SHOP WORKER: Gotta question?
SETH: [not staring at the wall of assault rifles] Yeah, hi, do you have lead?
GUN SHOP WORKER: Sure, we got bird shot and whatnot. [waves at a box of shotgun shells]
SETH: No, I mean, lead shot, all by itself.
GUN SHOP WORKER [Stares at shells. Stares at Seth]: There's lead in them shells. You could cut em open to get out the shot if you want.
SETH [wonders about the result of sawing through a shotgun shell]
SETH: Thanks, anyway.

Next stop: the fishing store. Which is also, naturally, a gun store.
SETH: Hi, do you sell lead fishing weights or shot or anything?
CLERK [looks up from doing something with tweezers to a detached bird wing]: Sure do!
SETH [thinks: Jackpot. Follows clerk.]
CLERK: Here y'are, man. This what you need? [points to small bag of fishing sinkers.]
SETH: Perfect! Now that's what, a 4-ounce bag? Okay, I need forty-five pounds.
CLERK [wishes he was back working on bird wing]
CLERK: Of lead?
CLERK: You should try the gun store, man. I mean another gun store.

The solution, it turns out, is dive shops, since scuba divers use lead weights to keep themselves from floating to the surface -- exactly why I need weight for my centerboard! Soft diving weights -- neoprene pouches full of tiny lead pellets -- are just right. Now all I have to do is buy twenty of them, spill out the lead beads, carve out a hole in the centerboard (brow-furrowing mathematics of lead weight and volume), mix the beads up with some epoxy to hold them all together, and slurp it all in.

Good thing I'm not melting lead, that would have been a real hassle.

Bashing board

It's been a while since I posted about boatbuilding, so here's where I am with the Pathfinder project. I've just glued up the centerboard from twenty-two pieces of appx. 1" x 4" locust and pine. This is a lot of glue, and even today, three days later, my right arm is still tired from stirring.

(It's a two-part epoxy that has to be stirred together vigorously for two minutes, then stirred again after adding the silica thickener. I've never been out of breath from stirring something before.)

So I've essentially glued up tabletop-size thing, and when the glue is cured and I take the clamps off (this week), then I'll shape it into a curve and eventually attach it to the boat.

This centerboard is the blade or "fin" that sticks down under the boat while sailing, to prevent capsize and instability, so it's important to get right. It's also the part of the boat that will bash into things (logs, turtles, crab pots, my leg) so I'm trying to find ways to reinforce the front edge. Latest contender: Xynole cloth soaked in epoxy, so when (not if) I run aground and the centerboard drags through a bed of oyster shells, it won't be reduced to a pile of soggy splinters.

(Kevlar also was an option, but evidently it's better for puncture resistance, and what I want is abrasion resistance.)

Given the way I sail, it's safest to assume there will be collisions, groundings, etc., and plan accordingly. Otherwise I'll be sailing around in a beautiful but very fragile Faberge egg of a boat, unable to do anything fun but wrap it in padding and get nervous every time I approach a dock No, thanks!

Mav

After watching the vice-presidential debates last night, I have just this to say:

There is only one Maverick.


Mav, you can be my wingman any day.

Fish Pirates?

Today on Jim Lileks' blog, he mentioned browsing the YA section of a bookstore, and he made the following observation:

After the haircut I got a book Natalie has requested – part of a 946-volume series about talkative, clannish cats. I spent some time examining the rest of the books in the YA section, looking for my own niche. I think Fish Pirates is open, as well as Yugoslav Amoebas with Magic Powers. Perhaps a series about a world where all the kids have magic powers, and then some interesting, conflicted, smart, resourceful kids discover they don’t have any powers at all.

(If you're not familiar with this blog, he rarely discusses books, or at least, books I read, but he does provide a steady supply of wry and very funny observations on politics, parenthood, cereal boxes, postcards, architecture, and more. Try the Gallery of Regrettable Food. Or anything else. Wonderful stuff.)

At any rate, what exactly are the niches in YA books these days? In fact, what is a "niche"? I would think a niche is only full when nobody buys and reads the books in it anymore. Vampire stories would seem to be overflowing the market yet ... people are still reading them.

And is the diversity of books so bad? (I know that's not his point. Probably.) I love that just about anything you can imagine is available. Samurais? Check. Vampires? No comment. Fairies? Yep. Elves dwarves hobbits rabbis stepmothers talking beasts magic technology dystopia historical fantasy spy thrillers horror romance high school drama dragons zombies octopi pirates bird-people aliens.

It's all there! Makes it tricky for writers to find their own space -- and maybe this is the best working definition of "niche" -- but it represents an incredible wealth of options for readers. I remember coming home from the library with a stack of books as long as my arm. It felt like Christmas morning.

So bring on the fish pirates and magical amoebas. Or so say I.